Feeling poorly

These past few days I have been feeling a bit poorly so I have not been up to much. My body aches and my energy is low. I feel sick, and every time I think about my last treatment I just feel like throwing up. I am just so sick and tired of this horrible taste and "smell" of the chemotherapy that constantly follows me. I nearly had enough now.

Mostly I have been on the sofa watching TV or reading a book. At the moment I am reading “Nobels Testamente” by Liza Marklund. It is quite good. When I get some energy I do try to do a bit of cleaning in the house or I´ll go for a walk with Jimmy. At the moment he is staying with me in the daytime because the neighbors are at work and I don’t mind the company. It is nice.

I just got back from my cousin Erika now. It was nice to see her and the kids.
On Sunday William will be baptized and because I am his Godmother I will read a small part from the hymnal (psalmboken). I am actually a bit nervous. It has been a while since I spoke in front of a lot of people.

Tip of today: Listen to www.radioseven.se. brilliant music all day and night long.

Quote of today: "When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"
- Sydney J. Harris

I was in the newspaper :)

Yumm, Yumm, Yumm!

Some people say that I am crazy, but I just LOVE autumn. On Saturday we had nice weather here, it was sunny and warm, so we spent it outside fixing up a few things in the garden. I went to Nybro twice to go shopping and see my mom etc. For dinner I made a really tasty steak with chanterelles. I have underestimated the taste of chanterelles. It was soooo good. For dessert I made apple pie again. In the evening we watched the film “The Blind Side” with Sandra Bullock. She is my favorite actress and the film was excellent.

By the way, did you read about me in the newspaper (Barometern) on Saturday?
They did an article about my screwed up sick pay compensation. I actually got an apology from Försäkringskassan through the reporter. Who ho!
Theres – F-kassan 1- 0.


Yesterday I felt sick and tired all day long. I managed to go out for a walk with Jimmy in the evening though and for dinner I finally (been thinking about it since we moved to Sweden -06) made Irish Stew. It was the most delicious meal I have had in ages!
Congratulations to Neil Robertson for winning the Snooker World Open in Glasgow yesterday!

Today it is Monday. I have no plans. I feel sick and tired as usual and the weather is crap. It is very windy and it is raining outside. (But I like it) I have Jimmy dog to keep me company here at home today so I guess Ill try to go out for a few walks with him. Otherwise I will just chill in front of the TV and read my book.

I got a bad reaction to chemotherapy nr 7

Yesterday I had my seventh treatment of chemotherapy. This time I was alone at first, but my mom came to see me the last hour as always. When I got home I was not feeling well at all. I had pain in my body and I was really cold. I had fever. I phoned the nurses back and they said that I probarbly had some kind of reaction because of the chemo. So I just took 2 paracetamol and got some rest. Just a few hours later I was “fine” again, back to “to normal”.

Today I have been to see Ida. We ate smörgåstårta (sandwich-cake) then I got a phone call from the local paper that was interested in my story about Försäkringskassan. I have not said this yet but I might as well do it now: F-kassan underpaid me about 15.000:- (1400£) to little…And I only found out because my new current administrator thought that it looked strange that I would only receive 4200:- I did not even phone about that specific thing that time, I was just wondering when they were going to send off my papers to CSN. But this woman had a quick look in my other papers and was confused. I have spoken to 3 different people at F-kassan before that has told me that “everything is correctly calculated here, you will not get more money” so what I am I supposed to think? It is terrible how they have treated me and I am now doing this article so that more people can recognize that their payments might not be correct either, you should not be afraid to question the decisions from F-kassan. F-kassan needs to go over their staff training and their information about the regulations that they have.

Autumn is here and so is Snooker

Yesterday morning I should have been at the clinic for 8:30 am, but because I was not awakened by my alarm, I missed my appointment. I am a heavy sleeper...I woke up at around 11:00 am instead.
At 12:30 Emmy came for a visit. We ate lunch and apple pie, we also took a walk in the woods with her two dogs. Later in the afternoon I took a bike ride with Jimmy. I picked some nice autumn leaves that I decorated in a bowl. Autumn is my favorite season.



Today I was at the clinic to do the blood tests and then I went food shopping at Willys and ÖoB. I took a warm bath at moms and before I went home I recycled all cans and PET bottles that has been sat in the basement all summer. I got up close to 200:-´(18£) for them.
Now I am watching snooker on eurosport. Later I will continue to clean the windows in the house and enjoy a bit of sushi that Mike will bring back from Kalmar. Yumm :)

Check out this clip when Ronnie O'Sullivan made a maximum break the other day.
It's so cool that he asked the judge: "What is the price for maximum break?" after having made only ONE red ball. What a legend!

The Swedish Democrats do not belong in our Paliament!

On Sunday "the Alliance" (the right wing) won the election in Sweden :( but that was not the most frightening thing. Unfortunately, the party Sweden Democrats nearly got 6% of the votes.
That party stands for an immigration policy that is not human, they have racist attitudes and they see the diversity of society as a threat. Right now the conversations between the other parties are taking place and they are talking about what they can do together to ensure that the Sweden Democrats should not be getting the power they are able to get because the government is in minority right now.
Hope Mr. Reinfeldt (our Prime Minister) can solve this problem.

Yesterday I polished the windows and cleaned the house.
I met up with Susan in town and we ate at Cafe Dolce Vita in Nybro.
In the evening, I baked a yummy apple pie which we enjoyed together with a cup of tea and the movie "2012" which was great.

Grandad 80 years!

Yesterday we celebrated grandfather's 80th birthday party. We ate a nice buffet and cake for dessert. It was nice to see the whole family (almost all) together again. In the evening I was soo tired so I did not have the energy to go to the party at Linns´ house. Mike and I just watched a film called "Hush" instead and made some dinner.





William and I
My Friday was spent together with dad and Karin. It was Karins birthday so we had "fika" (coffee and cakes) + dinner in Flygsfors. Around 18 pm I went home to Ida. We played some cards, watched "Idol" (the Swedish version of X-factor) and drank some wine.

Last Thursday I was on the phone to F-kassan about my low sick-pay compensation. They told me that I should ask for a reconsideration of the decision because it was such a low amount that I recieved. Hopefully I will get some more money, but I probably won´t.
I met up with Malin at Café Dolce Vita in Nybro around at 14 pm. We had lunch together and spoke about what she is doing at university now. I should have been in her class now if it would not have been for the fact that im sick, so it is interesting to hear what is going on.
After lunch I went to see my mom for a while (I got a really nice present, thanks a lot mom!) and in the evening I went home to Linn for some "fika".

Today it is Election Day in Sweden. I will drag Mike with me to the polling station when he gets home from work and then in the evening I will watch the election show on TV to see who will win. This year it is fairly evenly between the two major parties.
But first I am going to Västrakulla to see Susan for some "fika" and then I will have some dinner with my mom. Mike is working overtime today. He got a contract extention at work until the end of November which is good.

Middle watch

The neighbors' dog Jimmy is keeping me company today. He is so sweet and the cats like him too. He keeps my spirits up and sometimes it feels like it is he that drags me out for walks instead of the other way around :) I dont think that I would have been out as much if it were not for him. It is much nicer to have some company than to walk alone.

Its called "Having cats"

A few weeks ago I bought three plants for the windows in the dining room. When my mother came here on Saturday to eat crayfish she brought a fourth plant with her so that there would be two plants in each window. She did not know from the start that I needed one like that, but it is a great fit. Yesterday the cats sabotaged one of the plants, so now it is back to only three again....typical.

Election on Sunday

Elections in the Kingdom of Sweden are held every four years, and determine the makeup of the legislative bodies on the three levels of administrative division in the country. At the highest level, these elections determine the allocation of seats in the Riksdag, the national legislative body of Sweden. Elections to the 20 county councils (landsting) and 290 municipal assemblies (kommunfullmäktige) are held concurrently with the legislative elections on the third Sunday of September, and use roughly the same electoral system.
The next Swedish general election will be held on 19 September 2010.

The various political parties:

(v) - Left Party, formerly Communist Party
(s) - Social Democrat Party
(mp) - Green Party
(fp) - Liberal Party
(c) - Centre Party, formerly Peasants League
(m) - Moderate Party, formerly Right-wing Party
(kd) - Christian Democrat Party

For the past four years the "Alliance " have reign in Sweden. It is a collaboration with the four conservative parties. The second collaboration is between the three socialist parties "the red-green". I vote for the Labour Party (S) because I believe in their policies. Their way of thinking is more humane than the other parties. They want to spend more money and resorces on education, teachers and spend more on schools and healthcare.
I have worked in schools and I have been involved and worked with healthcare, so I know that it needs to be inproved. I do not mind paying a bit more tax if the money will go to school/healthcare for the nessesary improvement. It seems to me like the concervatives are just ignoring the problems and they do not want to deal with it in the same way that (S) wants to.
I am so angry with the way the current goverment have dealt with my sick-pay money. It is because of their stupid rules and regulations that I now have no money. How is it possible to live on 2000:- a month? If I did not have Mike to support me financially right now, I would have had to go down to the social services office to ask for benefits. Is that what the goverment wants you to do? If the rules would change and I could get 80% of my wages for the period that I should have been working, then I would have managed to support myself. Or at least I think that there should be some kind of minimum benefit that you should recieve so that you can live while being sick listed from work, but there is not. It really does not help being worried about your finantional situation when you are trying to keep your spirits up in order to feel better.

Disapointed

Yesterday my mom came over and we ate cray-fish. It was nice.


On Friday I had a great day in Lindås. First I went to see my cousin and her family and later I went to see Emmy at her new place.
In the evening a girl from Oskarshamn came to buy my car. So, finally it has been sold...:(
I did not have an option really. After getting the bad news from Försäkringskassan about my sick pay I just had to get some money in.
I will only recieve 4100 sek (370£) in benefits from the period 7/7 - 31/8. That is just not possible to live on. How on earth can anyone survive on less than 200£ a month? If I did not have Mike to provide for me now, I would have had to go to the social services to beg for money. I have used up all my savings etc, I have waited over 2 months now to get an answer on how little money I will get. This is ridiculous. I am well pissed of with this system and the rules that Försäkringskassan has to follow. Just because I do not have a permanent job I will not recieve 80% of my wages in sick-pay like other people would. I am "just" a student with a summerjob...

6:th treatment of chemotherapy

Today I had my 6:th treatment of chemotherapy. Ida A and my mom came with me. I feel ok now, just a bit tired plus I have a bad headache.
Here is some more information about my cancer and the treatment that I am getting.

My form of Hodgkins Lymphoma is called:
Nodular sclerosis (or "NSHL") is a form of Hodgkin's lymphoma that is the most common subtype of HL in developed countries. It usually affects females more than males and has a median age of onset at ~28 years. It is composed of large tumor nodules with lacunar Reed-Sternberg cell (RS cells) surrounded by fibrotic collagen bands.
The British National Lymphoma Investigation further categorized NSHL based upon Reed-Sternberg cells into "nodular sclerosis type I" (NS I) and "nodular sclerosis type II" (NS II), with the first subtype responding better to treatment.
I have type NSII.

ABVD is a chemotherapy regimen used in the first-line treatment of Hodgkin lymphoma. It consists of concurrent treatment with the chemotherapy drugs Adriamycin (doxorubicin), bleomycin, vinblastine and dacarbazine. This is the one I am recieving.
One cycle of ABVD chemotherapy is typically given over 4 weeks, with two doses in each cycle (on day 1 and day 15). All four of the chemotherapy drugs are given intravenously. ABVD chemotherapy is usually given in the outpatient setting — that is, it does not require hospitalization. I will get 4 cycles which means 8 treatment. So I have 2 left now.
When I am at the hospital it normally takes about 3 hours to get the treatment and after that I get to go home. I feel the side effects mostley up to 8 days after the treatment. I am tired, my body hurts, I feel sick and dizzy, I get stomage ache and I have a terrible taste in my mouth (ALL the time). After about 8 days I feel almost as normal. I do not really fancy going out for a run (not that it would be a priority nr 1 anyway...), but at least I can go for longer walks and be active for at least half a day.
Because I am sensitive to infections I have to think about things like: I cannot see my friends if they are sick or have the flu. For example, I was going to see Ida the other day, but she was sick. I was supposed to have seen my dad today, but he had the flu...I also have to be careful when I am in supermarkets etc, or when I handle money. One thing that I in my handbag is antiseptic handwash fluids that I use regulary.
I got tp speak to a doctor today and I got more information about the radiotherapy that W will get i november. I will write another post about that later.

Cute cat

Today I have cleaned the house and also a few windows. Nothing special has happend so I dedicate this post to Miss Cairo.
I have spoken to Försäkringskassan today about when I am suppose to recieve my sick pay. They still did not have an answer for me...
I might be able to finally sell my car tomorrow. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Tomorrow in the morning (10.00 - 13.30) I have my 6:th treatment of chemotheraphy. Ida A will come with me this time. I arranged a meeting with the doctor so that I can get some more information about the radiotherapy.

Sushi

My favorite sushi: California maki
Yesterday evening I went to Kalmar to see my friends Ida A and Annie P. We went to the restaurant Kama Sushi in Kalmar. They study the same course as I should have been doing now if I were not sick. It was interesting to hear what they are doing in school now. At the moment they are reading about IT and computors in the classroom etc, and soon they are going to have 5 weeks of traineeships in preschool.
I miss school a bit but I am actually enjoying my time off. Even though I have the willingness to stydy, I do not have the energy im afraid. So, therefor I will relax and focus on getting better.

Today I have been to the local clinic to do the repetitive blood test. It should always be done 1-2 days before next chemotherapy treatment. Afterwards, I had some breakfast and a game of cards with Ida. Before I went to do some food shopping I had a nice, relaxing foam bath at my moms. This afternoon I will clean the windows of the house.

´50-60s style crayfish party

On Saturday I went to a crayfish party together with Susan and her boyfriend Yasin. Our friend Emelie was one of the organizers of the party. The theme of the party was to dress up in ´50-60s style clothing. We were divided into teams and got to compete in fun games during the evening. We also danced to´60s music. I had a lot of fun.
Crayfish party is a proper Swedish tradition.

Info from Wikipedia:
A crayfish party is a traditional summertime eating and drinking celebration in the Nordic countries. The tradition originated in Sweden, where a crayfish party is called a kräftskiva. The tradition has also spread to Finland via the Swedish-speaking population of that country.
Crayfish parties are generally held during August, a tradition that started because crayfish harvesting in Sweden was, for most of the 20th century, legally limited to late summer. Today, the “kräftpremiär” date in early August has no legal significance. Dining is traditionally outdoors, but in practice the party is often driven indoors by bad weather or aggressive mosquitoes. Customary party accessories are comical paper hats, paper tablecloths, paper lanterns (often depicting the Man in the Moon), and bibs. A rowdy atmosphere prevails amid noisy eating and traditional drinking songs (snapsvisa). It is culturally correct to suck the juice out of the crayfish before shelling it. Yumm :)

Crayfish

Emelie, Susan and I

Chic as a 60´s chick

Borgholm and Kalmar again

On Thursday I was feeling alright so my Mom and I went to Borgholm. We had lunch together and had a look around the shops. We also went to Kalmar town and took a trip out to Ikea. The 5 kr ice-cream in Ikea are really good. I spent my last money today.
Försäkringskassan; I neeeeeed my money NOW!
Yesterday I got my car fixed. An old friend from school did the job, so now it passed the car inspection  In the afternoon Mike, Dad, Karin and I went to Kalmar to eat Chinese food. I have had a craving for that for a long time now. It was so nice. Before we got back home we rented some films and saw a good horror one; B.T.K (Bind them, Torture them, Kille them) Serial killer film, excellent, me like, hehe.
Today I am off to a “Kräftskiva” (Crayfish party) and we have to dress up in 50/60´s style clothing. I have a perfect dress for it. I´ll show you pics tomorrow. Skål!

Yesterdays outfit
At the Chinese restaurant with Mike, Dad and Karin

7 years and many more to come

Yesterday was quite so precisely seven years ago, I and Mike met in Gran Canaria. Time passes quickly. I remember the days when I first got eye contact with Mike as if it was yesterday. It is scary, but I knew exactly at that moment that we were going to end up together. Therefor I was not afraid to leave the island with him only 10 days after we first met. We left GC to live three years in Belfast, 4 months in Ayia Napa, and now we are settled in Sweden since June-06. We have had many holidays together and we have experienced many things. We managed to find the way back to each other after a break up, and I now know in my heart that Mike is the man for me, and I am really looking forward to the day when we are standing in church and say -Yes, to each other in marriage. Then we have the rest of our lives to live togheter as man and wife.

In Thailand -07

Our song