Happy Halloween!

Just got back from Kalmar now, I have been helping Mike clothes shopping. He really needed some new clothes. He bought 3 pairs of jeans, 2 sweaters, 2 jumpers, boxer shorts and a pair of shoes for winter. We ate at Burger King before we drove home. We also went by Krille´s garage to put my winter tires on the car. It feels good to have that done. It gets really frosty and cold in the mornings so it is nice to have them on now.
Tonight we are going to Linn and Sofie’s 25-year birthday party.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

Relaxing Friday

I have no plans for today. I will just relax and take it easy. I just came back in from a walk.
I am off town soon to collect a package from the post office. Then I will have a bath at my mom’s. Tonight I will follow a new recipe on a fish dish. I have made new things for dinner all week now. It is fun to follow new recipes.

Yesterday I was at the hospital in Kalmar. I did another CT-scan. I am supposed to get the results back today but they still have not phoned me…
After the scan I went around every wars/reception/department of the hospital that I have been at lately to pick up travel receipts so that I can send them off to see if I can get some kind of compensation for my travels to the hospital. It took about 1.5 hour to collect them all…
In the evening Annie came to see me for a while. I had some red wine and made a lovely pork stir-fry noodle dish. Mike was very happy with that. Hopefully this fish will be nice tonight as well.

All 4 together, aawww!

Linköping hospital

My mom and I took the hospital bus from Kalmar at 7.25 am. The bus was very nice. It had room for about 50 patients. Most of the other patients were a lot older than me. At the back of the bus there was a bed and a computer and microwave owns etc, it was a well-equipped bus I must say. There was 2 ambulance staff on it too, they drove. They served sandwiches and coffee on the way there and on the way back and they were very helpful.
We got to the hospital at 11.00 am.

First I got to speak with the doctor that gave me some information. He basically said that the radiotherapy is not that strong and the side effects probably won´t affect me so much. The skin can get red and sour and also I might experience pain when I swallow because they are targeting the sides of my neck and in my chest. I will receive 17 treatments.

After the conversation with the doctor, the nurses placed me on this “pillow” that they formed around my body. They made it so that I can lie still when they treat me. It has the shape of my upper body contour: head, neck and back.

The last thing I did at the hospital yesterday was to do a CT-scan again. It is so that they can see exactly where the tumors’ are placed in my body so that they know what area to target.

Info:
Computed tomography (CT) is a medical imaging method employing tomography created by computer processing. Digital geometry processing is used to generate a three-dimensional image of the inside of an object from a large series of two-dimensional X-ray images taken around a single axis of rotation.
CT produces a volume of data which can be manipulated, through a process known as "windowing", in order to demonstrate various bodily structures based on their ability to block the X-ray beam. Although historically the images generated were in the axial or transverse plane, orthogonal to the long axis of the body, modern scanners allow this volume of data to be reformatted in various planes or even as volumetric (3D) representations of structures.

The bus left to go back to Kalmar at 12:45 pm. We even had time to eat lunch before we left. It was easy to find the way in the hospital. There was a restaurant and computers etc at the entrance and everything seemed very newly renovated. The nurses and the doctors were all very kind and it felt like they knew what they were doing. I have not had that feeling in Kalmar I must say…

So the plan is now to go back to Linköping on the 2/11 to do the first real preparations for the treatment. I got the time 14:20 for the next visit which means that I won’t be able to come back home that day. I will stay at the hostel instead.
Then on the 3/11 I will get my first treatment. On th 25/11 I will get the last one. The nurses said that I can decide for myself what times I want to come in at. So I can choose if I want to take the bus every day or if I want to stay at the hostel sometimes. I have decided to start taking the bus and if it is too much hard work doing that I will stay in Linköping the odd night or two.

How to make a "vaccum-pillow"
CT-scan

Kalmar hospital

Today I have been to Kalmar hospital. At 9 am I did the spirometry test (lung capacity test) and that took 40 minutes. I don’t know the results yet, but it felt like it went better than last time anyway.

At 11 am I met with my Dr. He did not have much to say really, but I got explained to me that the medicine (Betapred) that I am eating at the moment can give you “fake energy” and troubles sleeping which I have had. The nurses took some blood tests and made an appointment to do the CT-scan on Thursday instead of the 5 November that was planned earlier.

Tomorrow I am going to Linköping to speak with the doctor there about my radiotherapy.
I am taking the bus in the morning from Kalmar 7.25 am and I will get back around 16 pm. My mom is coming with me. I got a phone call yesterday from the doctor there and she told me that I will probably have to stay in Linköping town (at a hostel) on the week days (2/11- 25/11) because of the different times that the radiotherapy will take place. Sometimes it could be in the morning etc. My plan was to take the bus every day, but I guess that will not work.

Pain, pain, pain... Why?

I had a nice and relaxing day on Friday. Annie came to see me in Örsjö in the daytime. We had some coffee and I baked a sponge cake. I showed her my “wedding planning folder” and we talked a bit about all that. I am sooo looking forward to it!
After Annie left I took a walk in the forest in the clean cold “winter” air.

When Mike came home we ate leftovers, (elk casserole) It was even tastier when it had been sat for a day in the fridge. Yumm. Then I managed to persuade Mike to watch “Idol” with me. I drank a little bit of wine and ended up staying up until 5.30 in the morning AGAIN. I don’t understand why I cannot go to bed early…I am just not tired.

Saturday morning was horrible though. I work up at 9 am with this terrible pain in my legs. Around 10 am it was unbearable. Mike had gone to Kalmar so I was alone. I was screaming and crying in the bed. It felt like I wanted to cut my legs off at the knees or that they were going to explode. I have no idea what this pain was but after around one hour it went away. I spoke to the nurses on the phone and they told me that I could go to the emergency but because the pain eased up I did not. I guess I have some infection or something in my body maybe that might have caused it. Anyway, I have NEVER had so much pain somewhere and it is scary when you feel that there is nothing you can do to stop it.

I was supposed to have gone to Växjö to see Susan yesterday, but because of the pain in my legs I decided to stay at home in case it got worse again.

Mike had invited some friends over for a dinner party. He made chicken, curry souse and rice. I made apple pie for dessert. We had a lovely evening.



Mike, Olivia, AK, Martin, Emil and Senai.

Feeling normal again?

00.30 am
This morning, 09.30 am
I have had some troubles sleeping lately. I stay up late but still get up early. I don’t know if it has anything to do with my medicine, but perhaps it has. (Betapred, 4mg)
I have also had terrible headaches lately. Not really like migraine but close enough.
This morning I went to bed at 5.30. Mike went to work at 5.15… I stayed up all night watching the snow come down. It was beautiful, but a bit weird I must say.
I got up again around 9 am, and I have not been feeling tired at all today (I´ve just had this headache) and I am still not tired. I feel like a Duracell rabbit at the moment! I have been doing things all day. I went to see my mom in the daytime, went to the supermarket, did a lovely elk casserole for dinner and sewed a bit of curtain. Now I feel like I want to bake a cake or go for a walk or something. It feels strange to have all this extra energy. OR is this just like feeling NORMAL again??? It´s been a while…

Making elk casserole
The cats are "helping"
1 done! about 22 more to do...

Erika and William was here

Two "baldies" :)
Yesterday Erika and William came to see me. They stayed from 9 am - 15 pm, and we had a great day together. We went to Nybro to do some shopping and brought lunch with us back to Örsjö to eat.
Then she helped me to start sewing my new curtains. I am not use to sewing...I hope I will have the patience to finish this project.

In the evening I supercleaned the whole house. I must have cleaned everywhere possible. If I find a piece of dust today I will be surprised!
I am happy now because I have so much more energy.

Sewing curtains

I have boosted my EGO!

On Friday I went to Kalmar with Susan. I bought some new clothes because I felt like I needed it. Normally I am not that bothered when it comes to clothes and stuff (I have always inherited a lot of clothes from friends and family etc) but now I wanted to treat myself for once. I bought two dresses and some tops. The reason behind it was the photo shoot that I had yesterday!
It was so much fun. Susan and I got to First Witt Hotel in Kalmar around 17.30 for the photo shoot. It was a company called “thestudio” (on tour) that had a set-up at the hotel. They do your make-up for you and you get to change clothes 3 times. Everything is for free; it is just the pictures that you buy that you have to pay for. It was so many people there and we had to wait until last. I was not home until 23.30 am. It was totally worth it though! It was a lot of fun to “be a model for a day”.

Memories from GC 2001-2003

I did not fall asleep until after 5 am this morning. I have totally changed my circadian rhythm. Yesterday morning I think it was around 4 am I fell asleep. It is getting worse…I have to try to go to bed tonight really early.
I had a lovely day yesterday. First I went to my cousin Erika for a visit in the daytime to see her and the kids. Then in the evening I went home to Susan and her parents in Västrakulla. She had made us a yummy dinner.

When I got home I was sat up for quite some time in front of the computer, scanning old photos from 2001-2003 when I lived and worked in Gran Canaria. It is nice to look at these pictures and be reminded of the “good old days”. The life I lived in Gran Canaria for 2 years was so much fun. Every day was an adventure: Beach, pool, shopping, going to restaurants, parties, clubs, dancing, friends etc. Something was always happening. When I lived at Nilo´s, all you had to do was to go outside the front door and there was a party. Brilliant! Gran Canaria is such a beautiful island and there are lots of places to go around and explore. When I lived there we use to rent a car sometimes just to drive around up in the mountains. There are many lovely white sand beaches to go to if you get on the bus to go to Anfi del mar beach or Amadores beach. There are big shopping centers in Vecindario and Las Palmas where you can go and easily spend an entire day.
I miss the lifestyle of course, but I don’t think I could handle it anymore. It was a bit too crazy. I have grown up “a bit” and there are other things in life than to party and have fun. With life and age comes responsibilities and duties I am afraid…haha, shit…

Time stands still at the moment

I can almost not believe it, but I have finally reached the end of the chemotherapy. Time has gone by quite fast some days and very slow on other days.
I have now been sick for about 4 months and I have 3 more months to go before I can start back at university again.
In the beginning I did not mind having all this free time on my hands. It was just nice to relax and keep myself entertained as best as I could. Now though, it is not as much fun anymore. There is only so much TV and so many books to read, eventually it gets boring. Most of my friends have jobs or they study so in the daytime I have to try to find other things to do for myself.

A typical day can look a bit like this: (if I have nothing planned)
09:00 am: I get up
Until: 12.00: I sit in front of the computer.
13:00 pm: I go for a walk / lunch.
14:00 pm: I head off in to town to see some of my friends and to go food shopping etc.
17:00 pm: Back to Örsjö to make dinner and to clean the house.
Rest of the evening: Reading, watching TV, relaxing, cat hugging etc.

I guess I have my small little projects, like for ex:
I have started to plan a bit for the wedding, I am going to sew new curtains, I clean out my closet or the basement etc. There is always something that needs doing. But on some days you just don’t feel like doing anything.

Today I have been to town. I went to give blood tests at the clinic and I also went food shopping with Ida. Later tonight I will go through ALL my clothes and clean out the entire wardrobe.

Yesterday I went to Kalmar to see my friend Ida A. She had made a lovely lobster soup that we enjoyed. We were sat talking until late at night before I headed off home around 22.30 pm.

On Tuesday Emmy came to see me. We ate some cakes and drank some tea and took a lovely walk in the nice autumn weather. She is pregnant and also sick listed from work. We have to stick together, hehe.

Tomorrow I have no plans yet. I will check if I perhaps can go and visit my cousin Erika and her family.

Soon it is time for my radiotherapy, and then I will be busy for 3 weeks going up to Linköping and back every day. I just don’t know yet when that treatment will start. At the moment I am waiting to do that special lung X-ray and also the PET-scan.
Until then, I have to keep myself busy and just try to make time go past. I feel that I have a little bit more energy now but I am still quite tired and on some days it feels like I am trapped in an old woman´s body.

Autumn walk and yummy dinner

Breakfast for my love
I had a lovely day yesterday.
First I had a long and refreshing autumn walk in the forests around Örsjö. I took some nice pictures.





Then I decided to invite my mom over for dinner in the evening. I wanted to try out a new recipe. Gordon Ramsey is one of my favourite chefs so I had a look on youtube on when he makes the Beef Wellington. I followed his recipe and it was totally ok, I might have overdone the beef a bit though, but it was still nice.

Small starter


Dessert

FINAL TREATMENT FINALLY!

When I got to the hospital yesterday I did not know if they were going to give me the treatment or not, but the doctor said that the lung x-ray was ok, and that the spirometry test was "not as good as it should but still not to bad".
The nurses took some more blood tests and they measured my lung capacity on how well I absorb oxygen. It was fine, but the bloodtest showed that I have an infection of some kind in my body. I still recieved my LAST treatment!
They gave me as normal: Doxorubicin, vinblastine and dacarbazine, but because they are still waiting for me to do the more advanced lung X-ray they decided not to give me the bleomycin this time. Instead I got tablets to eat at home: Cortisone (Betapred) and some form of Antibiotics. So now the shelf in the bathroom is filled with all sorts of medicine...
IT FEELS GREAT THAT THIS WAS THE LAST OF THE CHEMOTHERAPY!!!
All I can do now is to hope and pray that the PET-scan and the next bone marrow test that I will have after the radiotherapy will show that the cancer has gone away.

What a mess, hehe

No treatment today

The last few days I have been feeling this strange pain in my chest. It hurts when I take a deep breath and I get breathless really easy. The doctor has told me that this is a common problem with patients like me, and that I need to tell them straight away if I feel it.
So therefor I did not get my last treatment today. Instead I got to do another lung x-ray and also a breathing test called Spirometry in which they measure my lung function and capacity etc.
Ida was with me all day and because the last test was at 14.30 pm we had time to go in to Kalmar City to eat lunch and walk around the shops. I bought a new grey coat, a pair of black skinny jeans and some other things.


It has been a long day. We were at the hospital already at 8.30 am because I had an appointment at the hairdressers to cut my wig. It was too thick before but now it is a bit better.
Anyway, I have had such a fun day. Ida and I have not stopped laughing all day. I was totally exhausted when I got home so I fell asleep on the sofa for 4 hours.
Now I am watching “Ocean´s Eleven”, drinking tea and eating chocolate cakes.
I have this terrible pain in my kidneys and I believe it is because of my treatment. I eat medicine that is supposed to protect them (Allopurinol) but this is also a common problem with patients like me. I will tell my doctor about it tomorrow when she phones about the results from today. By the way, I have got yet another doctor now. She seems ok.
If the tests are ok, then I can have my last treatment tomorrow. Otherwise I don’t know what will happen.

Mmm, chocolate

Today I have not been feeling so good. I have been really tired. My body hurts, it feels like I have been out running a few 10 km races.
I made some chocolate balls to make me feel better :) they were yummy!

Tip of today: Visit my friend Hanna´s website:
www. belladerma.se
She runs a beauty salon and she does all kinds of treatments. Have a look!

Quote of today: "What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?"
- Vincent van Gogh

Yesterday´s catch

Yesterday´s catch
Ida and I went mushroom picking yesterday. It did not go very well...haha.
In the afternoon I saw Susan at Dolce Vita coffee shop. We had some dinner together before she took the train back to Växjö.
I have now bought the first things (decorations) for the wedding. I found some pretty autumn leaves and a nice ribbon to tie around the candles. I have also bought "Bröllopshandboken", in that book you can read everything you need to know about how to plan a wedding. The plan is that our wedding will take place next year on the 8:th of August.

Today I have yet again been to the hospital. This time it was to the gynecologist and also to take some blood tests.
There is nothing seriously wrong with me, but I now have to eat even more antibiotics :(

I also took another trip to IKEA. I bought a lot of fabric so that I can sew new curtains + two big plants. Now I need a sewing machine.

When I got home Mike and Carl left to go motocross riding. But first they helped me to put the new food processor together. I am sick of eating stuff that comes out from a tin. I will make homemade bolognese sause and pasta for them to eat when they get back.


Hopfully the cats won´t wreck the plants, they were quite expensive.

Williams baptism

It has been a while since I went to church. Last time was probably when Vendela got baptized. This time it was Williams (our Godson) turn. The service took place in Algutsboda church, it was beautiful. My duties during the service were to carry the Cross and I also read a short prayer. Everything went fine and William did not even cry once.
After the service we ate “Smörgåstårta” (Sandwich cake) and normal cake as well in the Parish Home (församlingshemmet) together with my cousin Erikas boyfriend Michaels brother whose daughter also got baptized at the same time.

I want this dog

If we would ever get a dog, Sibirian Huskey would be the one both me and Mike would like to get. They are so beautiful.

By the way, this is how nice our entrance looks now.

Ölands skördefest

Why have I not done this earlier?? That was my exact thought just minutes into our excursion to Ölands skördefest, Konstnatten (Harvest festival – Art night) yesterday. (For more info click on the title above)

Karin, Anita, Erika and I left Nybro around 15.30 pm and I did not get back to Örsjö until 01.30 am. The day was packed with things to do and places to see at Öland. We saw some pumpkins, some more pumpkins and then even some more pumpkins. It was great!
The places we stopped at were: Stora Frö, Eriksöre, Resmo, Gårdby, Bläsinge and Ismanstorps borg. The last stop we made was really cool. We were walking in the dark (at midninght) on a small path in the middle of the woods towards a small coffee shop. The path was narrow and we only had a kerosene lamp. When we got there we ate a bowl of pumkin soup that was delicious.

It was such a cozy atmosphere everywhere and the things that you could buy was just so authentically, artistically handmade and crafted with an indescribable feeling.
At the harvest festival you can buy all kinds of handmade things.
At the market places they sell for example; clothes, food, second hand gadgets of all kind, flowers, herbs and spices, jam etc. On this specific night called “The night of art”, artists will show off their work at small exhibitions to share with people. We saw a lot of cool stuff, and I actually bought my first painting.


Sold!

This is the stuff I bought




Erika, Anita and Karin