The Point and Joy in doing something meaningful.

This summer I have had a lot of time on my hands because it is so quiet at work. I have been thinking about how important it is for me to do something valuable with my time. The fact that I am now a qualified teacher and is going to start a new job in August scares me a bit. Am I ready for this? But the more I think about it the more confident I get that I definitely am ready for it. I want to have a job where I feel needed, valuable and have responsibility. I want to know that what I do is something meaningful but also joyful.

To be a teacher is a profession where you help children to get an education and to teach children social behaviour. To me that is meaningful and it gives me great satisfaction to be able to do that.

This job where I am at now really does not give me the same satisfaction. I sit in a reception and do paperwork. I also register the patients into the computer when they arrive. The only time I feel genuine helpful is when I sometimes take patients in wheel chairs to the X-ray department. Everything else is just paperwork and phone calls etc. It all feels a bit pointless.

Now, I don’t mean that you others that has got similar jobs don’t contribute to society or should feel guilt for anything. If you are happy doing what you are doing, that is really good. I just feel that I have to get that special feeling of joy at work, helping others, in order to feel happier. I want to feel useful. I believe that you get so much in return for helping others, it is a feeling that you cannot replace with any money and it is hard to describe it too. All I know right now is that I want it and need it soon.

Busy week

On Sunday I went through all my old school work from uni, I also put my old desk in the "study room".


On Monday: After work my mom and I went out for something to eat together.

Kalmar Castle
Mummy, yumm, yumm :)
Kalmar Harbour
Yesterday: I went home to Ida after work. We drank coffee, went for a walk and talked a lot. We have not seen each other for about 3 weeks so we did a long catch up :)

Today: I am going to meet Sofie after work and finally I get to see how she and Christian lives.

Tomorrow: I have no plans yet, but I will probarbly find something fun to do after work anyway!

The Pig Party

Friday: The Pig Party was a success. Around 25 people came and we had such a great evening/night. We ate a lot, drank a lot and danced in the living room to loud music until 2 am.

On Saturday: I drove Jayne to the train station (past McDonalds) around 10.00 am. When I got home I passed out in bed until 17 pm. Then Mike and I cleaned the house and garden for hours…

On Sunday: We continued cleaning the house and did laundry. I moved a desk into one of the extra bedrooms so that I can use it as a study room for when I start my new job. In the evening we made a nice dinner and watched some films.

Today: I am back at work again. After work my mom and I are going out for some dinner in Kalmar together for my birthday meal.

Whole roasted pig party

Tuesday: When I came home from work the dinner was already made. That’s great! After dinner and a few beers Don, Jayne, Mike and I played croquet, kubb and some cards.

Wednesday: After work I had a bath at my Moms. Dinner was ready again when I got home, nice one! Martin and Susan were at home as a surprise as well. We ate BBQ and relaxed.




Thursday: I had a migraine so I phoned in sick from work. In the evening Jayne and I went shopping in town and we also went to the sun beds.

Today: We are having a BBQ. One whole pig is going to get cooked over open fire in our garden. I have invited around 20-25 people so it should be a fun evening. I have been quite worried about the weather because they said earlier this week that it was suppose to rain today, but so far the sun is still shining.

My Birthday!

Yesterday it was my Birthday. When I got back from work Mike, Don, Jayne and Mattias surprised me with a BBQ, flowers and wine. We played some kubb and went for a walk to the mountain with the sea view. We went swimming in the lake for a good hour. It was so nice.






We made a camp fire to warm ourselves up after the swim :)

Trip to Stockholm for my Birthday

This weekend Mike and I have been to Stockholm. We stayed with Ida.A and her boyfriend Joel. We drove there after work on Friday and got to their apartment in Hägersten for around 19 pm. In the evening we had some drinks and a BBQ.

BBQ and Party :)



On Saturday we took the boat out to Vaxholm and enjoyed the beautiful scenery around Skärgården. We ate herring and mash potatoes at a restaurant in the harbour. After that we ate ice-cream and walked down to the “beach”. In the afternoon to took the boat (ferry) back to Slussen and walk around in Gamla Stan (The old city). We also walked around City center (Drottninggatan etc) in Kungsträdgården we watched a street performer called “Space Cowboy” that rode a unicycle and juggled with axes and chainsaws. In the evening we went for a late dinner at a Thai restaurant that was situated on a boat with its own sandy beach, wonderful. This day was brilliant!
Ida.A and I on the tube
Skärgården
Ferry to Vaxholm
The beach at Vaxholm
The Old City
Space Cowboy

On Sunday we ate a lovely breakfast; pancakes with bananas and strawberries. Then we said goodbye to Ida and Joel and headed of to the airport in Skavsta to pick up Mr Don from Belfast. It was so nice to see him again. We drove home and got back to Jayne and the cats around 20.00 pm. For a late dinner we made some spaghetti bolognese and drank some red wine.
Breakfast
Don and Mike
In the candyshop, Linköping (600 different kinds of candy)

Today I have been back at work as usual, and it is MY BIRTHDAY!!! I believe that we will have a BBQ tonight; Jayne, Don, Mike and I. Dad and Karin popped in at work as a surprise and gave me a present. After work I will get something from my Mom as well.

BBQ Party, Jayne is here!

Jayne and I playing around on my i-phone :)
On Saturday: We had a BBQ party. Jayne came over from England! She is staying with us for about two weeks. I got a beautiful bracelet from her Mom. We had a great party, I just hope that the neighbors won’t hate us now because of the loud music...hehe.

On Sunday: We had a relaxation day. Movies, pizza, sleep and snacks.

On Monday: Back to work again. Boring. The baby birds outside the coffee room are growing and are getting bigger for every day. In the evening Jayne and I drank some beer and played some cards.


Tuesday: Work again. It was a nice and sunny day today. I went to visit Susan on my way back from Kalmar. We were sat in the sun talking and drinking juice. Jayne spent the day with her brother (Carl) so I picked her up from his place. Then Jayne and I watched a film "Hush" horror in the evening. Mike is working afternoons this week (14pm - 22.30pm)

Wednesday: Work. After picking Jayne up from Carl’s place we went shopping in the afternoon. When we got home we went for a walk to the mountain with the lake view, it was sunny and nice.



Yesterday: Work and then I was packing :)

(Pictures will be added later)

Midsummer

Now I have done 3 weeks at my summer job. I am quite tired in the evenings when I get back so I have not done much else than to relax in the evenings.
These are the little baby birds that live outside our coffee room at work. They are so cute.

Last weekend we had Midsummer here in Sweden. It is a tradition to get really drunk drinking schnapps, so I did! We celebrated together with Linn, Marcus, Sofie and Christan. We had a lot of fun and ate a lot of nice food.




Last Tuesday our old tenants “the Norwegians” came over for a dinner party. It was nice. Our other neighbors Sören and Ann-Britt also came over to play some “kubb” game.


Tomorrow we are having a BBQ here. Jayne is coming over from England. I have been looking forward to that a lot! Then Don from Belfast is coming over on the 10:th of July :

One year later...

Exactly one year from now I got my cancer diagnose. This year has passed so quickly in the way that it feels like yesterday I was sat in front of the doctor trying to understand that my body was sick. But in the same way time has gone by quite slowly when things have been rough.

I am now one year older and a little bit wiser perhaps? Yes, I must say that this year has taught me a lot about life and how precious it is. I don’t really have a whole other perspective on things (like some people get going through hard stuff), but I am trying to grasp moments to enjoy and to live life in the moment the best I can.

It is difficult to explain how very grateful I am to have got this “extra” time in life. Sometimes I think like that, if I would have lived about 20-25 (?) years ago, I probably would not have survived this cancer.
Looking back on all the treatments and side effects etc I now feel like; it was not that hard, but I do NOT want to do it again.

I guess I have been lucky in the way that I did not feel that poorly. Yes, I was tired and felt a bit sick at times, but the other side effects was OK to handle (stomach problems, mouth blisters, hair loss, travels to Linköping, horrible taste in my mouth, nerves going crazy etc) That was not difficult. The hard part came later, when everything was done. Waiting for the results was the most difficult part of it all.

I am a very positive person that has kept my spirit up during the treatments, but in the end my positive energy was running on low speed. Even though I did not feel great in my mind, I STILL went back to school and continued my studies. That is something that I am really proud for doing!

Now I am feeling great and life continues. I enjoy spending time with family, friends and our cats. I will start a new job in august and I sometimes have to pinch my arm to make sure I am not dreaming that this life is true.

Thank you.

I GOT THE JOB!!! and swedish healthcare is NOT expensive!

Last Friday: I finally finished the corrections in my thesis and sent it in. I am now officially DONE at university! Well…at least for a while. I believe that you can never get enough knowledge and it is good if you can take time off your job and study for some more if you get the opportunity to. Just to take a break from normal life and refresh, update and fill your brain with more good stuff is good.
In the afternoon I bicycled from Nybro to Örsjö (1.4km that is almost 10 miles) in the rain. At the moment I am willing to do anything to lose weight. I have actually lost 5 kilos so far, but it has taken fooooreeeever… I want to look good for summer/beach, and that is getting a lot closer by the day.
In the evening I dropped Mike off at Senais 25-year birthday party in Nybro/Kalmar. I went home to Ida. We played cards, drank coffee, went for a walk and ate cheese and crackers. At 3.00 am I had to wake up to drive to Nybro to pick Mike up because both I and he forgot that the night bus from Kalmar only goes as far as Nybro on the Fridays...Yawn!


Saturday: I started the day with a cup of coffee as always, then I super cleaned the whole house for several hours. Ida came over and we went for a walk in the forest with Atlas. In the evening I had some red wine and a lot of cat stroking.

In the forest



Sunday: Relax day.

Monday-Friday: I have been working all week. My hours are 07.15am – 16.15pm, but on Fridays I finish around 14pm. Things at work are the same as every other year. This will be my 4:th summer as a receptionist at the orthopedic department at the hospital in Kalmar. There is not much to say about my job really, I receive patients at the reception, make sure that they pay and get them to the doctor. I also answer the phone, take care of the mail and enter referrals into the computer etc.
Sometimes time is going really slow at work because there are not many patients coming in the summertime because a lot of the doctors are on holiday leave. And it is hard for me to do more things at work because I am not too familiar with all the duties there.
The thing that angers me the most at work are the patients that are complaining about how expensive Swedish healthcare is. SAY WHAAAAT??? You pay 900 SEK (75£) and then you get FREE healthcare for approx. 1 year (depending on what the first date you paid was). That is not expensive!
Another thing that angers me a bit is when patients say things like: - I don’t need a “healthcare pay stamp” in my book because I am not planning to get sicker.” (Every time you pay at the doctors you get a stamp in a little book. When you have reached 900 SEK you get free care.) And EVERY TIME I have to remind them that YOU CANNOT KNOW WHEN OR IF YOU ARE GETTING SICK, you might as well get the stamp in your little book now. NOBODY plans on getting sick. But I must say that I am very happy that I only had to pay 900 SEK. I got a lot of treatments and it cost the government a lot of money. I am very grateful that Sweden has got the kind of system they do. Thanks to you all tax payers!

On the 27: th of May I went on a job interview. On Monday the school phoned and told me that I GOT THE JOB!!!

Yesterday: After work I had a 2 hour meeting with my new boss, the principal at the Montessori school in Nybro. She explained my schedule and pay etc. I will be in charge of year 3. I will get a 50% position as class teacher (class year 3-4) and 50 % as recreation (youth worker). I will probably teach English in year 4 too. It feels great to know that I will have an income in autumn and that it seems to be a great school as well.

Today: I have been working. Finished at 14pm. Now I will have a glass of red wine and then I will clean the house. Mike just came home from work too, so I will force him to help me clean. Now when I work full time as well, that is more than fair. Music ON!

The first 3 months check up went fine!

Today: After I had been working all day I met up with Annie, we went swimming. In the evening I went to Susan in Västrakulla to eat a lovely dinner; salmon, potatoes and sauce. Yumm! When I got home I was totally exhausted. It is sooo warm outside (and inside)now. There is thunder and lightning in the air tonight.

Yesterday: I was working in the afternoon. Then I went to Ida. We played cards (I won ) and drank coffee. In the evening I drove my cousin to the emergency because she had a blood infection in her foot. When I got home around 21.00, I went out inline skating 10km (give or take 8 miles) it was so nice!

On Tuesday: I went to the doctor for the 3 month check-up. EVERYTHING IS FINE! Happy Days! The doctor told me that he wants to remove my Port-a-Cath in the summer/autumn. Next check-up will not be until late autumn again. Great! In the afternoon I did loads of corrections and changes in my thesis, but I am still not done… In the evening Emma and I went for a walk up to the mountain with the sea view. Ozzy dog had a swim.

On Monday: I had a day of relaxation. I was sat in the sun with a good book while the cats happily ran around outside. Mike and I went for a walk in the evening and made spaghetti Bolognese for dinner.

I found theese old pics from when I went for my first operation/surgery. Look at the size of that lump/tumor on my neck.

Happy Sweden Day!

The Swedish national anthem

1.
Du gamla, Du fria, Du fjällhöga nord
Du tysta, Du glädjerika sköna!
Jag hälsar Dig, vänaste land uppå jord,
Din sol, Din himmel, Dina ängder gröna,
Din sol, Din himmel, Dina ängder gröna.

2.
Du tronar på minnen från fornstora dar,
då ärat Ditt namn flög över jorden.
Jag vet att Du är och Du blir vad du var.
Ja, jag vill leva jag vill dö i Norden,
Ja, jag vill leva jag vill dö i Norden.

3.
Jag städs vill dig tjäna mitt älskade land,
din trohet till döden vill jag svära.
Din rätt, skall jag värna, med håg och med hand,
Din fana, högt den bragderika bära,
Din fana, högt den bragderika bära.

4.
Med Gud skall jag kämpa, för hem och för härd,
för Sverige, den kära fosterjorden.
Jag byter Dig ej, mot allt i en värld
Nej, jag vill leva jag vill dö i Norden,
Nej, jag vill leva jag vill dö i Norden.



History
The tradition of celebrating this date began 1916 at the Stockholm Olympic Stadium, in honour of the election of King Gustav Vasa in 1523, as this was considered the foundation of modern Sweden.

Some question the validity of this as a national holiday, as it was not observed as a holiday until decades later. However this event does signify the end of the Danish-ruled Kalmar Union, so in a sense it is a marking of Swedish independence, though the event occurred so long ago that it does not have as strong of a presence in the social consciousness as does, for example, Norway's Syttende Mai (17 May).

In 2005 it became an official Swedish public holiday, taking that honour from Whit Monday. This change led to fewer days off from work (more working-days) as the 6th of June will periodically fall on the weekend, unlike Whit Monday, which was always celebrated on a Monday. This has in turn led to complaints from some Swedish unions. (Wikipedia)